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discontent, good or bad?

Discontent…good or bad?

Is restlessness/discontentment good or bad? Did an answer pop into your head right away? If you are like me the answer went something like this “good duh! If no one was ever discontent then nothing would ever get done.” I thought this was what everyone thought until the question came up on night one of our new Bible study, “Restless”. 

When I discovered this book, a year and a bit ago I think it was, I heard the title and immediately knew this was the book for me, I am always restless, I had already written at least one post titled “Restless” so I bought it (on kindle because I was too impatient to wait for the next day when stores would be open and definitely too impatient to wait for shipping) 

Restless is probably one of the words I would use to describe my personality actually, I bore easily, I like to inspire change or new ideas and if I am not able to do that I get itchy and discontent. 

So when my friend challenged this idea I may have lost a bit of sleep. 

I think it is pretty obvious that the answer is good and bad depending on the discontent, so how do we know which is which? 

When I think of discontent (in the context of being restless) I think of not being content to sit and watch your life go by. I think of not being content to watch the people around you go through life and even die not knowing the Lord. I think of not being content to live a life of lukewarm Christianity or watching others around us do the same. I think of not being content to let atrocities happen and remain quiet or do nothing. I think of no being content to gain worldly wealth live a comfortable life while around me and around the world millions live in poverty physically and spiritually. 

That is Holy discontent. It leads to action, it causes us to leave our comfort zones and reach out to our neighbours, near and far. It causes us to obey the words of Christ and care for the orphans and widows and least of these, and to go and make disciples. This kind of discontent knows how richly I have been blessed and needs to share that with everyone. 

It looks different in different people. For some it means leaving this lifestyle and going somewhere else as a relief worker, teacher, missionary, medical help, pastor, or something like that. For most it means quietly living a faithful life right here, discipling one person at a time, being a light to neighbours and coworkers, or maybe even just raising your own children to love and serve the Lord. Either way it is choosing to not be idle and sit passively watching life go by. 

Then there is the other discontent. The kind that always wants more than they have. The kind that is grumpy and selfish doesn’t see the ways they have already been blessed. This kind of discontent doesn’t inspire change. It breeds lust and covetousness. It sits around and whines about how unfair life is. This is the person who is content to live a life for myself and my comforts and pleasure. This is the discontent that is content to be lukewarm and doesn’t want to be about people who are not lukewarm as well.

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an Easter story

an easter story

A roosters crow pierced the darkness and she woke with a start. Another restless night spent tossing and turning. When she had finally fallen asleep the dreams were heartbreaking. The rooster crowed again and it all came back to her. It wasn’t a dream. He was gone. Her friend, her messiah, beaten, crucified, killed.

She slowly pushed back the blankets and the cold air hit her, it was still dark. Would it ever be light again?

They had taken down his body and put him in a tomb, but no one had really cared for him yet. Passover had been long and agonizing, full of grieving and helplessness as she and her close friends waited for the hour they could at last go to him and care for his body. It wasn’t much but after all he had done for her brother, her family – she had to do something.

She pulled together the oils and spices and slipped out in to the twilight where her friends were waiting. No on spoke on the walk to the garden, the path was winding and narrow, the only sound was their muffled steps on the damp ground.

The first rays of colour were just peaking the horizon when she saw it up ahead. The tomb was beautiful. Joseph had surprised them all by giving up his own tomb for Jesus; none of them could have paid for anything like it.

She glanced up at the beginnings of a beautiful sunrise but felt only numbness. How would they push away the stone? Why had they not thought of this before? She should have asked Peter or Thomas to come with them but in her grief it hadn’t even crossed her mind. She should go back but she couldn’t stop her feet moving forward.

Salome stopped so suddenly in front of her that she nearly walked right into her. What was wrong? Then she saw it. The stone had already been rolled away. How? She hardly had time to consider as she rushed forward and inside, and then her heart stopped. Her body heaved. She fell to the ground and began weeping more deeply than she ever had. Why? After all they had already done to him, why this? Her friends were crying too but were desperately searching the cave.

She heard her friend’s voice saying, “maybe there is another cavern, maybe we have the wrong tomb.” The grave clothes were right there. This was the right tomb; his body was gone.

All the sorrow and helplessness of the past week crashed down on her. She couldn’t bear another moment; she stood to leave and began to run. She didn’t know where, just away.
Suddenly right in her path, a man. The gardener. She stumbled and tripped to keep from crashing into him.

“Woman, why are you crying?”

She could hardly see through her swollen, tear filled eyes. Her words came out in a desperate shriek.

“Was it you”? “Someone took him and I don’t know where his body is. Please tell me where he is so I can care for him!” Her whole body was shaking now as she sobbed.

“Mary”

That voice. She knew that voice, the sobbing turned to laughing. “Rabboni! Teacher!” She was on her feet now hugging him, still weeping but now they were tears of joy.

“Mary. Go tell my brothers.”

Reluctantly she let go of him. She ran to the disciples as fast as her feet would carry her.

The colours in the sky were now at their most brilliant, had there ever been a more beautiful sunrise? Her tears dried in the breeze but her smile could not stop. He is not dead! He is alive! He is alive!

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grace from a slave

grace from a slave

It isn’t an uncommon thing for me to get emotional about stuff, I do it pretty often, but tonight was the first time that the story of Joseph has ever brought me to tears. Tonight as I read about Joseph revealing himself to his brothers after so many years of mistreatment,  years as a slave, betrayal and being a prisoner Joseph was someone who deserved to be pretty ticked at his brothers. But there isn’t an ounce of anger in him when he sees the ones who caused him so much pain

 Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. – Genesis 45:4-5

Wow. The trust Joseph had in God all those years having only his childhood dreams to go by! If anyone had reason to fall into de spare it was Joseph during his years in prison, especially when yet another person, the cupholder, betrayed him; but he didn’t even then, he continued to trust knowing that one day God would be true to his promises.

I complain about waiting so often even in the comfort of my easy life, what a beautiful reminder Joseph is of a patient man of God who trusted and who forgave. 

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attacking worship

attacking worship

I have been writing and re-writing this post in my head for the better part of a year, never content with it and never quite settled on what to say or how to word it. I would t it aside for a while but always come back to it.

I noticed that worship and Christian music seemed to be a popular thing to blog about in 2014. It seemed like everyone and their brother had something negative to blog about, some way of pointing out how “worship isn’t music” or “how terrible Christian music is” or something similar. Blog after blog tearing down worship teams or Christian musicians or songs. It is a little tiresome and I must admit (not that I have been all that quiet about my opinion of all these posts to those around me, in person.) I am sick and tired and honestly quite annoyed by them. Here is why:

1. God loves music. This is pretty clear from scripture. He tells us over and over again to 

“sing to me a new song” Psalm 33:3

“praise me with the clashing symbols…” Psalm 150:1-6

“make a joyful noise unto the Lord.” Psalm 95;1

“…singing songs and hymns and spiritual songs.” Col 3:16

“my lips shout for joy when I sing praises to you.” Psalm 71:23

“Make a joyful noise to the Lord, all the earth! Serve the Lord with gladness! Come into his presence with singing!” Psalm 100:1-2

“…and sing to your name” Romans 15:9

“Let him sing praise” James 5:13

“I will sing your praise” Hebrews 2:12

“And when they had sung a hymn they went out to the Mount of Olives.” Matthew 26:30

Need I go on? There are SO many more so I could easily.

2. Yes, we get it already, there are other forms of worship and praise besides music, tithing, prayer, volunteering, the list goes on and on but honestly the easiest way for about 98% of people to get into the right mindset. Music just has a way of softening our hearts, of teaching us simple or complex things in ways that just speaking or reading them often doesn’t. There are the odd few (I happen to have been birthed by one and am the sibling of another one or two) who really legitimately don’t like music but the majority of us love it. No, every song your church chooses will not be your favourite but get over yourself! It isn’t about you and maybe the guy next to you loves that particular song. 

3. When you write or share these cynical posts you are essentially ridiculing the way most of us worship the Lord and a way that He asks us to worship Him. By picking apart certain songs because you disagree with the theology of the person who wrote it (theology that doesn’t come out in the song) or because it was sung at a conference you don’t agree with or whatever you are taking a song that someone used to sing out to the Lord with sincerity and praise and wrecking it. I have been guilty of it, there are some songs I hate and I forget that others love them. That is wrong of me. 

4. Perhaps before writing or sharing posts people should examine their hearts and ask. Is it helpful? Is it edifying? Will it bring glory to God? If not – don’t post it.

5. I wholeheartedly agree that worship teams and bands need to be up there for the right reason. Sunday morning is not a time to glorify yourself or perform. We should not idolize musicians and forget that they are also human and can screw up just like the rest of us can. BUT remembering that they are people who want to serve the Lord we should show them the same grace we would like to be shown. Learn from them but look to Jesus as our real role model because he is the only one who doesn’t mess up.

6. Why is music the one form of worship/praise that people feel they are allowed to mock? 

Look, I get it. I definitely have opinions about what I like to sing, what songs are easy for me to worship with and what ones just kind of annoy me. Trust me I know, and I also know that if my heart is not right then the song doesn’t matter how great the song is, it will not be pleasing to God. Like wise if my heart is right it doesn’t matter what the song is it will be glorifying and pleasing to God. 

Most people on worship teams in local churches give lots of their time, their energy, their chance to sleep in for an extra couple of hours, to serve their congregation and to help you worship. Most don’t do it for any glory, usually there is none at all. People complain about the way they dress or the fact that someone may have gone off key or the key was too high or too low or the beat was too much or not enough. People tell them they don’t like the song choices. There are some who do say thank you which is so sweet of them, but there is general there isn’t a whole lot of glory in it. 

Maybe there are some who are in it for the wrong reasons but again, if your heart is right it doesn’t really matter if theirs isn’t your voice will still be pleasing to God.

Some of these things are things I need to remind myself of often too. Hey, we all mess up. We all run our mouths off sometimes when we shouldn’t (or most of us do). I get it.

Thank God for his grace.

signed

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on burnout

on burnout

I have been there, and the temptation to get back in the place that leads to burn-out is always there. I am a “doer”, an “imaginer”, a “hey that is a great idea we have to do it” person. A person who has to really practice self-control to not volunteer for everything that needs to be done and isn’t or every position that is short on help.

We moved to Chicago fresh out of Bible School, just beginning our second year of marriage, full of energy and drive ready to dive in anywhere we were needed at a church that was once thriving but was now struggling. We saw the possibilities, the location is amazing, in the middle of a semi low-income neighborhood full of unchurched people and many many children. The Awana program was thriving but the membership was quite low and the people who volunteered did so for many different things. We jumped in and before long we were heavily involved in music, running the youth group, and Awana on top of full-time jobs. 

Everything was great for a while, a couple of years in fact, and then it started to wear. I was asked to move from a volunteer to leading Sparks and between that, trying desperately to get our leaders to commit to youth and dealing with depression after two miscarriages and infertility something just kinda snapped. It was a long time coming and it took about a year before we were ready to go back to any church at all. 

We were hurt pretty bad by the church, but a lot of it could have been avoided if we had recognized the signs of burn-out and taken steps to prevent it. 

In the church burnout can sneak up on you quickly if you aren’t careful, people don’t often realize how much work goes on behind the scenes in different positions or how emotionally exhausting it can be helping people walk through hard times, whether they are young teenagers dealing with very hard things, young children or adults, it can be a heavy weight to carry and people don’t always realize that. If you are dealing with depression in your own life, as I was, the weight can easily become too much. 

I learned a lot during the years following our burnout, I know now how to guard against it but I have to be very intentional about what I get involved with because the temptation to do too much is always there. Always. 

Some things that have helped me avoid getting back into this situation are:

                  – Waiting before volunteering. I am someone who hears of a need and right away think “hey, I could probably help with that.” I have learned to stop, take a moment or longer (usually longer) to figure out. Do I have time for this? Is this something i would be good at or would someone else be better at it? Is it something I am passionate about or do I just think it is a good program and am worried that if I don’t help, no one will? 

                   – Reevaluating everything I am already involved in often (or at least trying to every year or so) and asking the above questions about what I already do and others: Are there things I can/should let go of? Am I not doing as good of a job on one project  because of others that I am doing? Is my family suffering at all because of anything I do?

                  – Relying on a team! One of the fastest ways to burnout is trying to micromanage everything you do. I have been there. I have learned what my strengths and weaknesses are and valuing the strengths of others. We are the body after all, we need each other! It is ok and good to ask for help.

Maybe it isn’t you that is nearing a burnout but you recognize that someone else could be close, here are some ideas of how you can help.

           – Pray. You don’t have to have a close relationship with someone to recognize they re struggling and to pray for them. Pray for strength and wisdom.

           – Volunteer to help. Maybe you can’t help your pastor with much of his job but just offering to help however you can is sometimes helpful. Make them a meal, send them an encouraging card or treat (our pastors love donuts from the bakery in town)

          – Be a good listener if they need to talk.

          – If you have a good relationship with them and they respect you, you can try talking to them about it. Mention what you are noticing and ask if they have noticed it too. The answer might be “no, I am fine.” which may or may not be true. When in doubt just keep praying for them.

          – Don’t make it worse by gossiping about them. Again, been there. Gossip makes burnout WAY worse. We should always be careful with our words but most especially with people who are hurting. 

I hope that if you are reading this and nearing a burnout yourself you will find help and rest. I know from personal experience (and from walking through it with good friends) how damaging burnout can be. God doesn’t ask us to “do do do” all the time, he does TELL us to rest and trust and he showed us how to many times. 

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fear and prayer

fear and prayer

In a town nearby there is a building that has been a Baptist Church for as long as I can remember. I had never been in but had driven past it many times while out shopping or going to see a movie or a midwife visit. 

Not quite a year ago, while out shopping, we noticed that the sign had changed. Instead of reading “_______ Baptist Church” it now read “_______ Muslim Society”. I must admit I felt anger over this, not that I was attached to this particular church but because of what the change represents, what it tells about what is happening in the country. I felt sadness because a church had folded and yet Islam was now thriving in this once “Christian” city. I must admit that until today those feeling have continued, sadness but also a lot of anger. Fear.

I have mentioned a few times now a book I read recently for a book review (you will have to wait until it is released in March to read about it though, sorry) that I believe has changed my life and completely changed the way I think. Since then I have been reading a few other similar books some by the same author as the upcoming one and some by other authors. Each chapter I have read has been slowly thawing my heart a little more and convicting me of my wrong thinking.

It is so ingrained in us to hate Islam, we are terrified of things that are going on, we are angry about the persecution our brothers and sisters face, we are hurt by acts of terror that a small percentage of them have committed and continue to commit. We feel justified in our hatred. I can’t say that I ever cringed when I saw an individual, but in a whole I let fear feed my hatred and have not acted like Jesus at all.

Tonight as I read one of the last few chapters of “Dreams and Visions: Is Jesus Awakening the Muslim World?” I suddenly realized that my feelings about the society near me had changed. I am still saddened that a place that used to be set aside for worshiping God (Elohim, Yahweh, Jehovah) is now something completely the opposite (in case you have any doubts, Allah is not the same person). But the anger is gone, replaced by the desire to pray for the people who gather there.

If I have gathered only one thing from these books (and things I had heard previously) it is that God is doing a work among Muslims now that is unlike anything that has happened in history. He is seeking them out more than ever before and is not willing that any of them should perish. What if he wants to do a work among the Muslims who meet in that old church not far from my home? That would be amazing, and I realized that maybe I could have a part in it. I can pray for them, I can ask Jesus to appear to them as he is doing for so many of their brothers and sisters around the world and here in North America. 

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Visions and Dreams

Visions and Dreams

Visions, Jesus appearing to people in their dreams night after night becoming the. To come to him or simply telling them he loves them.

I am reading a book about the persecuted church right now (that I will be writing a review for in about a month when it is released) and I can’t help but wonder if we are missing out. The more stories I hear about believers in places like Somalia, Iran, Iraq and other places where believers are severely persecuted the more it seems that things happen there that do not happen here. It seems that Jesus appearing in dreams is a common thing there and can often be one of the first things that leads to a person learning who he even is and deciding to follow him. 

As I read yet another story of this I can’t help but feel a longing to know what that is like. I don’t want to sound ignorant of the struggles and dangers these people face on a daily basis, many even end up as martyrs or seeing friends or family die as martyrs. It isn’t a life anyone would ask for and I am so very thankful for the freedom we have here to worship without fear. At the same time I can’t help but think about a few things. 

I can’t help but think of the churches in Revelation that John writes to. The only like churches that aren’t rebuked are the ones who are suffering great persecution. They don’t have time for Sunday morning faith or lukewarm Christianity. When it is life and death it is all or nothing at all. Their faith is strong, it is tested and true. They know they will hear “well done good and faithful servant” when they see Jesus face to face. 

I can’t help but think that we are missing out of what the church really is. Over there the church is a family a very real representation of the body. They don’t bicker over music styles or preaching styles. They don’t fight over all the stupid things we fight over in churches here. 

We live in a tiny town and this week we counted, we have six churches in our tiny, one stop light town. Six! We have Anglican, Catholic, Baptist, Four Square, United and I can’t remember what the sixth is. Most don’t even tech the truth at all. Six churches and yet our area is the drug and alcohol capital of our entire province, almost anyone you ask will say they are “Christian” but most have no idea what that means. We are overrun by churches and we are missing out big time on what the church really is.

I can’t help but be a little bit jealous that I have never had Jesus appear to me in a dream. I have then luxury of owning more Bibles than I can could carry at one time and have so much access to truth that there is really no need for Him to. It is an awesome privilege to have so much but because of that I think I miss out on the longing for more, the feeling of treasuring something so valuable, you risk your life to even own and read it. 

Within arms reach, at this moment, I have three Bibles and that isn’t including the online or app versions that are on the IPad I am typing on. If one got lost I could grab another, if my house burned down I could buy a new one. I can’t even fathom how they feel holding that precious book or borrowing one from someone else to fill you hunger because you don’t have your own. 

There is one name all of us know, in a sea of unknown persecuted Christians about the world there is one name that almost all North Americans know, Saeed. Put in prison for his faith in one of the worst prisons in Iran, in mortal danger every day. He is a face and a name amid so many unknowns. He is a daily reminder of all the others whose names we don’t know, whose faces we don’t see on Facebook and Twitter. 

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Christmas and consumerism

I adore Christmas. I love the music, I love the lights, the smell in the air, the fresh snow. I love the decorated trees, the excited or even frantic shoppers trying to find the right gift for their loved ones. I love buying gifts (I love shopping in general)

The last couple of years though it has been a little tainted for me. So much consumerism, buying things for the sake of buying them not because they are needed or in some cases even wanted. I know, it is fun, but so many are missing even the daily necessities to survive while we spend hundreds or thousands, in some cases going into debt to have an amazing day that will end with discarded toys already forgotten among the sea of toys each child already has. We have so much. 

I have been working on downsizing for a while now but my kids still have so much, so many toys they have completely forgotten (of course only until you suggest giving them away…). 

How can we make Christmas beautiful and special and at least mostly traditional without adding to the problem, adding that to the clutter and ignoring the least of these? I know my babies have high expectations already even though we have been downsizing a bit Christmas every year and trying to teach generosity instead of entitlement. This year we started the conversation really early about a change, I don’t want to rob them of the memories I had, because I do adore Christmas, but I want to raise my children to care for the needy, even sacrificially.

Growing up my parents had very little, some years the only gifts we got were from grandparents or because someone gave them an extra gift (missionary kid remember…) but if I look back I don’t remember that at all. I don’t ever remember going without really. I remember special traditions and waking up to gifts that magically arrived while we were sleeping. It didn’t cost much to make it special for us. Now that I am grown and have more than my parents did at my age why do I feel like thighs need to be bigger. Gifts need to be bigger, cost more, be more spectacular to make it special? I know that media plays such a huge role in this,money are so good at manipulating us without us even realizing they are doing it. It is so hard to fight back 

I know there are some families who don’t do gifts at all. I admire them greatly but that is just not for me. I think that most of my love language is gift giving so not to do that at all would hurt too much. I do have a plan this year though to make Christmas special without adding to the problem. My children will receive a small give from us, but the majority of our gifts will be choosing gifts for those who really need it. We have been pouring over catalogs already for about a month looking at options. Things like farm animals for needy families around the world or books for school kids in the poorest countries. The options are almost endless. 

It is pretty neat to think that Christmas could make such a difference in so many lives this year if a few of us decide to be intentional about laying up our treasure in heaven instead of here. It doesn’t have to be big, you can start small and cut down just a small amount in order to help others. Even cutting down by $10 can help protect a child from disease with a new mosquito net. Cutting down by $11-30 can buy small animals to help a family start a business or feed themselves. You can do that for several families or give a large gift like a cow to one family. You can cut down greatly and give a whole village clean water or you can team up with other families to do this. We can all afford to help, even the poorest of us can probably afford some of the least expensive gifts. Yes, it might mean one less thing under our own tree, or maybe a lot less but imagine the joy to a family who really has nothing. 

I challenge you to at least consider it. Consider how you spend your money and how you could change that even a tiny bit.

If your are looking for options on how or what to give here are a few of my favourites:

          Compassion has Christmas catalogs on top of monthly child sponsorship options.

          Partners Int. has had catalogs full of options for as long as I can remember.

          Sole Hope has gift ideas all year round

          Mercy House and 3Cords have options all year as well. They are great options for if y want to make a difference but still buy a present for someone near you. Genesis Road and A21 are good for this as well. 

(If your favourite isn’t listed leave it in the comments, I would love to check it out!)

Also remember to check out the companies you buy regular gifts (and chocolate and coffee from) to make sure you aren’t supporting slavery.

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Smokey mountains

smokey mountains

Out my left a sea of mist with dark peaks rising above it as far as I can see, the sky is painted in light shades of pink and orange as the sun just barely begins to peak over the horizon, 

To the right the mountains are not just silhouettes, they are a collage of colours. Red, orange, yellow and green, little patches of fog decorate the valleys. 

Every so often we drive through the cut-off side of a mountain. the exposed rocks and moss are so beautiful.

It takes my breath away. 

I remember this from so long ago, driving this way as a young child. I have often wondered if it was really as amazing as I remembered or had my mind made it into something too beautiful that it couldn’t live up to.

In my head I can smell the beautiful rest stops we used to stop at early in the morning to stretch our legs. Smells of nature and fog.

How can anyone drive through a place like this and not see God? He is everywhere. 

It brings tears to my eyes.

All the ugliness in the world right now, all the pain, and here is this unbelievable splendour.

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a letter to working moms

Dear working mom,

Hi, I’ve been wanting to write you a letter for a while. You see, we stay at home moms (and work from home moms) keep getting letters from you and I thought you deserved a response.

The last letter I read from you was about a week or two ago and it has been on my mind ever since.

Here are a couple things I want you to understand:

1. SAHMs who say inconsiderate things to you like “I could never leave my kids to work” or “how do you do it?” are often feeling very judged by society and their way of trying to compensate sometimes is passing that judgement back to you. No one ever says “oh you are just a nurse?” or “oh…you are an office manager” in those condescending tones used by people when they say “oh you stay at home with your kids?” or “oh ya, that is the hardest job right?”

Yes, you feel judged by us but we also feel extremely judged.

2. I know sometimes it looks like we have it made in the shade but remember when you have your adult conversations at work (even if you feel like your coworkers are children) that we are often longing for an adult to talk to for just a second someone who won’t talk back or hit or whine (although in all honesty a lot of adults do 2 of those three things daily). So when we have play dates or whatever it is often just an attempt at keeping our sanity until bed time.

3. I am not complaining and stay at home moms should never complain because despite the frustrations we may feel, being able to stay at home with our children is a huge privilege that some of you (especially you single moms) do not have. We value that (most days) and even though some of us may make you feel bad we often look up to you.

4. For some of you it isn’t a choice, you have to work. (I am talking mostly about you single moms, or wives of husbands who have been laid off, haven’t been able to find a job or are in ministry or injured or anything like that. ) But some of you do have a choice, you have made the choice that you feel is right for your family. That is the same thing we did. 

5. We as moms (all moms) already have so many people judging us. We have judgment coming from almost every direction. “oh you don’t let your kids have sugar? That is stupid and mean.”, “oh you DO let them have sugar, that isn’t healthy!“, “oh you vaccinate?“, “You DON”T vaccinate?” the list goes on and on and on. We don’t need to be judging each other for choosing to stay home or be a working mom.

In the end there is just so many more important things we could be doing that laying guilt trips on each other all the time for making the choices we feel are right for our families. In the end the only person who will answer for our choices is us and if we are focusing on the Lord and keeping him in our decisions then who is another mom to judge you for it?

SO working moms, know that we support you. We appreciate what you do for your children and so do they. We do not judge you, and next time a mom makes you feel judged just keep in mind that she is probably feeling very judged and frazzled herself and is making the mistake of putting that on you. Pray for her and try not to hate her. 

All of us, as parents, have the hardest job in the world. We are shaping the world. It is scary and wonderful and we can all use all the support we can get from each other.

Love from,

An at home mom

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